So I’m going to cheat and just using filler for a blog. This is a poem that I love by Megan Falley. It goes along really well with my dieting post. It’s called “Fat Girl.”
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I play Words with Friends on Facebook. I pretty much suck at it, so if you are looking for an opponent you can kick the ass of, I’m a good choice. However, that’s not the point. I noticed the other day that one of the ads you that pop up after you play a word is for a diet supplement (I’m not sure of the name, which really isn’t important anyway). On this ad, there is a silhouette of an very overweight women that shrinks until she disappears. I find this image says more than was intended by the advertising department of the company. When I see it (it is one of a handful of ads they rotate through), I can’t help but think of the problem with our diet obsession.
Whatever happen to being happy with your body? I’m not sure I know a single woman who is. I’ve had friends that told me that they love the way they look even though they don’t fit the skinny ideal. For one such friend, this only seemed to last until she got a boyfriend and then she started dieting. Is she happy with her body? Um…no! I’m sure she’d still say she is, but how can you be happy with something your trying to change? And these changes aren’t for health, just in case someone is going to try to go there. She had a physical before starting her weight loss journey and she is perfectly health. No high cholesterol, no high glucose levels, nothing out of the norm, nothing to be concerned about. From my understand, she wasn’t even told by a doctor to lose weight (which would have been stupid on the doctor’s part since her weight wasn’t having a negative effect on her health). No, she needed to be thin because that is what is beautiful in our society. This is what I find sad*.
Another friend of mine had such low self-esteem because she didn’t have a boyfriend or have children and she was approaching the scary age of 30. She was depressed and convinced that her life was meaningless. She was convinced that losing weight would fix the problem. Her solution involved a weight loss program where you eat very little real food. It’s all shakes and expensive supplements. There’s a big problem with this: it can’t be maintained long term unless you continue to use those shakes. (Also, it costs a shit ton of money, especially for those supplements which do NOTHING!!!!**) Funny how they get you hooked on something saying you’ll only need it only while losing weight and then rake in the money from people who continue to take them because they are afraid to gain back any weight. The friend did lose a lot of weight (something like 80 pounds), but never really fixed her eating problem. She did get a boyfriend (not a good one in my opinion), but the low self-esteem still remained. That’s because she didn’t fix the problem. Sure, people treated her different, but there was still a lot of hurt there. No amount of compliments will fill the hole left by hating yourself.
I’m also tired of seeing slender women put themselves through hell to fix “problems” that don’t really exist. This is due to the fact that they are striving to look like the highly photoshopped images in magazines. They see bulges where none exist. They think that only flat abs are attractive. This is complete bullshit! I don’t like any women being told she must change to be accepted by others, but it’s extremely sad when a woman who is relatively slim believing she is fat and unattractive.
Now before anyone gets the wrong idea: I don’t think that eating healthy and exercise are bad in and of themselves. If you want to be stronger, lift weights by all means. If you want to compete in athletic completion, you’re going to have to train and eat well. If you have a condition or health concern that requires you avoid certain foods or lose weight, you should follow a diet that achieves the results you need. This is not I disagree with. I also don’t think it’s a bad thing to participate in some form of physical exercise to stay health. But the focus should be on health and happiness, not weight.
It shouldn’t be our goal to achieve a certain standard that has been deemed good by the collective. I think we should start questioning the standard of beauty. We should examine why we think some people need to be shamed into submission (I haven’t met many people who don’t at least think this is some form). We need to value people for who they are, not what they look like. What is important about how someone looks? Other than how they look next to you in pictures. And if that’s all you care about, maybe you should start with self-reflection. Are you really as good of a person as you think?
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*What’s even more interesting is that she pities me because I’m “overweight” and sometimes have a down day. Her fix? “I’d take you to Zumba if you had the money.” What the fuck?! So I’m not good enough the way I am? Here let me tell you what you need to do: change yourself.
**Just to clarify, it can be said that they do work psychologically. That’s all. Basically, you take them before meals which makes you more aware of what you eat. It’s a mind trick.
So this video was posted by one of the groups I follow on Twitter: Fight The War On Women. I watched the video and decided to repost on Facebook with this message:
“I have my Master’s in English and I knew this wasn’t right.” -in regards to childbirth practices (of the 60’s mind you, not today)
This woman is why I would never have a home birth. Midwives can’t do science, as evidenced by this clip. You can’t just take statistics and then claim you have the answer for why they are that way. You need to prove it; you have to show that it is the only reasonable answer. Claiming that C-sections are bad with no exceptions is dangerous. I agree that women need to take an active role in learning about birthing options, but there is no reason to put them at risk in the process.
I figured I might open a can of worms because I have a few Facebook friends that are all about home births. However, I stand by what I say. While I am not saying that we should get rid of home births or midwives all together, it is very important to remember that we still need medical professionals and patients should be consulting with physicians. Ina May Gaskin says in this video (maybe not directly but she does allude to it) that C-sections are responsible for the high maternal mortality rate. She has no support (at least in this video) for that claim. Her stories (evidence?) are all anecdotal, i.e. they hold little weight. She isn’t playing by the rules of science and this, I believe, is potentially very dangerous.
Gaskin’s comments seem to be that natural, at home birth is always best. She also alludes to the fact that midwives are more knowledgeable that doctors. Her message comes across as, “Don’t trust your doctor; we know what’s really best for you.” By presenting her argument as fact, she is potentially putting women’s lives in danger. She may know when to recommend when a women she seek a physician instead of a midwife, but that does not mean that all midwives do. Not all pregnancies can be handled by a midwife. She leaves out that a study of her practice said that,
“under certain circumstances, home births attended by lay midwives can be accomplished as safely as, and with less intervention than, physician-attended hospital deliveries.”*
The most important part of that is “under certain circumstances”, meaning not every time is home birth a safe choice. The fact that Gaskin did not include this simple phrase (which would not have undermined her point) is appalling for someone who says she is concerned with women’s health and safety.
The biggest problem I have with this video is that a group trying to help women stand up for their rights would post something so dangerous to them. I get that they are trying to empower women, but can we at least do it with full knowledge? Not woo peddlers like Gaskin? Also, why are so many women ready to jump on board with this*? We can help women make informed choices about their reproductive care that still keeps them safe. Yes, we should be promoting a more holistic approach to healthcare. That doesn’t mean we get rid of physicians and medicine; it means we demand that medical professionals take into account the individual. It means giving individuals the information they need to find the right physician for them and knowing when you should accept your doctors advice or when you should seek another opinion. It means demanding that we get doctors who actually understand women’s issues (i.e. they should be female themselves). We need to reform healthcare not get rid of it.
*I really believe that this has a lot to do with the fact that the medical field has been dominated (and still is for the most part) by men, which means that women’s healthcare is pretty bad. Women want a change; they want to be in control of their bodies and they want doctors who understand a woman’s body (and not as a sexual object or baby making factory). Since there are still so few women physicians, they are drawn to midwives because they are women too. This is why I will not say that midwives have no place. Until we can get more female women’s health professionals, midwives can bridge the gap, but it is important that this be in partnership with a doctor or nurse practitioner.
Some Things are Random 