I play Words with Friends on Facebook. I pretty much suck at it, so if you are looking for an opponent you can kick the ass of, I’m a good choice. However, that’s not the point. I noticed the other day that one of the ads you that pop up after you play a word is for a diet supplement (I’m not sure of the name, which really isn’t important anyway). On this ad, there is a silhouette of an very overweight women that shrinks until she disappears. I find this image says more than was intended by the advertising department of the company. When I see it (it is one of a handful of ads they rotate through), I can’t help but think of the problem with our diet obsession.
Whatever happen to being happy with your body? I’m not sure I know a single woman who is. I’ve had friends that told me that they love the way they look even though they don’t fit the skinny ideal. For one such friend, this only seemed to last until she got a boyfriend and then she started dieting. Is she happy with her body? Um…no! I’m sure she’d still say she is, but how can you be happy with something your trying to change? And these changes aren’t for health, just in case someone is going to try to go there. She had a physical before starting her weight loss journey and she is perfectly health. No high cholesterol, no high glucose levels, nothing out of the norm, nothing to be concerned about. From my understand, she wasn’t even told by a doctor to lose weight (which would have been stupid on the doctor’s part since her weight wasn’t having a negative effect on her health). No, she needed to be thin because that is what is beautiful in our society. This is what I find sad*.
Another friend of mine had such low self-esteem because she didn’t have a boyfriend or have children and she was approaching the scary age of 30. She was depressed and convinced that her life was meaningless. She was convinced that losing weight would fix the problem. Her solution involved a weight loss program where you eat very little real food. It’s all shakes and expensive supplements. There’s a big problem with this: it can’t be maintained long term unless you continue to use those shakes. (Also, it costs a shit ton of money, especially for those supplements which do NOTHING!!!!**) Funny how they get you hooked on something saying you’ll only need it only while losing weight and then rake in the money from people who continue to take them because they are afraid to gain back any weight. The friend did lose a lot of weight (something like 80 pounds), but never really fixed her eating problem. She did get a boyfriend (not a good one in my opinion), but the low self-esteem still remained. That’s because she didn’t fix the problem. Sure, people treated her different, but there was still a lot of hurt there. No amount of compliments will fill the hole left by hating yourself.
I’m also tired of seeing slender women put themselves through hell to fix “problems” that don’t really exist. This is due to the fact that they are striving to look like the highly photoshopped images in magazines. They see bulges where none exist. They think that only flat abs are attractive. This is complete bullshit! I don’t like any women being told she must change to be accepted by others, but it’s extremely sad when a woman who is relatively slim believing she is fat and unattractive.
Now before anyone gets the wrong idea: I don’t think that eating healthy and exercise are bad in and of themselves. If you want to be stronger, lift weights by all means. If you want to compete in athletic completion, you’re going to have to train and eat well. If you have a condition or health concern that requires you avoid certain foods or lose weight, you should follow a diet that achieves the results you need. This is not I disagree with. I also don’t think it’s a bad thing to participate in some form of physical exercise to stay health. But the focus should be on health and happiness, not weight.
It shouldn’t be our goal to achieve a certain standard that has been deemed good by the collective. I think we should start questioning the standard of beauty. We should examine why we think some people need to be shamed into submission (I haven’t met many people who don’t at least think this is some form). We need to value people for who they are, not what they look like. What is important about how someone looks? Other than how they look next to you in pictures. And if that’s all you care about, maybe you should start with self-reflection. Are you really as good of a person as you think?
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*What’s even more interesting is that she pities me because I’m “overweight” and sometimes have a down day. Her fix? “I’d take you to Zumba if you had the money.” What the fuck?! So I’m not good enough the way I am? Here let me tell you what you need to do: change yourself.
**Just to clarify, it can be said that they do work psychologically. That’s all. Basically, you take them before meals which makes you more aware of what you eat. It’s a mind trick.
Some Things are Random 