Since we have a paper due soon in American Lit, today our professor lectured about documenting sources with MLA citation. I’ve heard this speech SO MANY TIMES! I started to take notes, but I realized I already knew everything being discussed. Instead, I started a free write about how bored I was. I learned that I’m really not a nice person. I thought I would share the proof of this statement. I hope this entertains someone. (Italics: my current commentary on the original)
I already know all this. Why do I come to this class? If I didn’t want an A in this class (which requires that I get the participation points), I would only come when there is an exam. This is the longest hour and a half of my day. Are there a lot of people who don’t know this stuff? (Answer: yes, evidenced by the amount of people that were taking notes.) Oh wait, I go to school with a ton of stupid people. (See what I mean? I’m a terrible person. However, I challenge you to come to my school and conduct your own evaluation. We’ll see if you come to a different conclusion.) It must suck (I couldn’t think of a better adjective at the time…don’t judge me) to be a professor since you have to keep going over basic information. (This is why I still question whether I want to go into teaching. Can I handle that much head banging?) Why are these people (the stupid ones) in college if they can’t learn? Some people should just give up. Yes, I’m mean (see, I even knew it at the time I was writing this. Sometimes meanness is required. As Hamlet said, “I must to be cruel only to be kind.” I have succeeded in making a reference to Shakespeare…my job is complete.), but they are just holding the rest of us back. Ha, he just apologized to those of us having to listen to this speech again. (At this point, I wondered if my continuous writing had caught the professors attention. I didn’t really care though.) How about those of us who have heard this in every English class? Being an English major (Now, I’m just bitching…it’s even annoying me as I read back through it. Sorry.), I cannot count how many times I’ve had to listen to this information.
Then I listen for a brief moment (mostly just to see if I needed to be listening). I continued:
“Only use ‘para’ OR page number.” Is this hard for people? (Obviously, yes, for some.) I can give them a coloring book that is more their speed. (Just slightly snarky…okay, really snarky.)
I figured I was done until my professor made a joke about someone having a parentheses phobia. That inspired:
Who has a parentheses phobia? What would that be called? (Hmm…maybe I could make up a name for it?) How would someone act if they had this phobia? (Someone much more clever than me should try making a character with this phobia.) They could never write phone numbers that included area codes (at least in the common American way of writing telephone numbers…also, I just realized that said person would be rendered almost catatonic by this post.) Math would be terrifying. They wouldn’t be able to write side notes. (By this, I mean what I am doing right now.)
These are the types of things that go through my head all the time. I hope you enjoyed your peek into my brain. If this makes you think differently about me, I hope it is in a good way. If in a bad way, I guess you know to avoid me now. Oh well, I can’t change it.
Some Things are Random 